The Great Divorce Chapters 10-11 - Thursday Bible Study

Great Divorce Chapters 10-11a

This is our 6th class on The Book

This is an AI Recap of the class.
Some things may be incorrect.

Discussion of Chapter 10: The Controlling Wife

• Description:

  • The group analyzed the character of the controlling wife, describing her as hypocritical, depressing, critical, and self-centered.

  • Her identity was completely centered on managing her husband, Robert, whom she treated as property.

  • Her phrase, "I forgive him as a Christian," was seen as a way to hold onto resentment while appearing righteous.

  • The group discussed that genuine forgiveness means letting go of anger, even if one doesn't forget. An analogy was made to a sober alcoholic who turns their past struggle into a strength.

  • The wife's actions, such as destroying her husband's ambition, were seen as diminishing him. Her final statement, "I am so miserable. I must have someone to do things to," revealed her motivation was control, not service.

Discussion of Chapter 11: The Grieving Mother (Pam)

• Description:

  • The discussion shifted to Pam, a mother grieving her son, Michael. Participants debated the son's age at his death.

  • Her grief led her to neglect her family and hate God. Her ten-year ritual of keeping her son's room unchanged was cited as an example of being consumed by the "tyranny of the past."

  • The group compared this "grieving ghost" to the controlling wife, noting the different approaches to handling them.

  • Key passages were highlighted:

    • "You cannot love a fellow creature fully till you love God."

    • "You'll become solid enough for Michael to perceive you when you learn to want someone else besides Michael."

  • It was emphasized that one must first exist as God's creature before being Michael's mother. The healing process begins with a "little germ of a desire for God," not using God as a means to an end.

Theological Themes: Love, Control, and Idolatry

• The Nature of Control vs. Allowing Flourishing:

  • The group connected the theme of control to real-world examples, like parents pushing children for their own ambitions or churches clinging to traditions that prevent growth.

  • A parallel was drawn between the book's themes and unhealthy structures in churches, HOAs, and businesses where power and control become central. Healthy structures were described as a "taste of heaven."

  • The key takeaway was the need for self-honesty to determine if one's actions are about helping others flourish or simply about control, posing the question: "Are they flourishing when they are doing exactly what I told them to do?"

• The Nature of Love, Loss, and Forgiveness:

  • The group discussed that the ghost's state might be rooted in anger at God, which prevents healing. This led to a conversation on empathy and seeing others' perspectives.

  • The destructive nature of possessive love was a central theme. Natural affection can be mistaken for heavenly love and must be "buried" (a theology of the cross) before it can rise again, transformed.

  • A key quote was discussed: "No natural feelings are high or low... They are all holy when God's hand is on the reign. They all go bad when we... make them into false gods."

  • A reference was made to an interview between Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper, highlighting the value of having loved despite the pain of grief.

  • Forgiveness was linked to becoming "solider," where others lose the power to hurt you.

• The Idolatry of Good Things:

  • It was noted that good things, like mother-love or patriotism, are easier to turn into idols than more obvious passions. Demons are made from fallen archangels, not lesser things.

  • Examples of "good things" becoming idols included: "family-friendly" branding, unquestioning patriotism, specific forms of masculinity, and intense sports fandom amplified by betting.

• Biblical References and Connections:

  • The discussion touched on biblical stories involving Naaman and Elisha, though participants needed to review the details. This was connected to a sermon series where Elisha repeats Elijah's actions in a gentler, more spiritual way, moving from past violence toward something new.

  • The group also briefly mentioned biblical structures like alphabetical psalms, symmetrical patterns in the Sermon on the Mount, and numerological codes in the Torah.